So, this was a post that a friend of mine posted on a writer's critique website. He gave me permission to publish it here on my blog for all you readers to enjoy. I promise, I'll get 6-10 out of him. :) Enjoy!
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Commandment #1
I am the road, thy pain. Thou shalt have no other surfaces before me.
Runners live for the road. Unfortunately, they also tend to die for it… and on it. That wonderfully hard surface that gives you aches and pains, shin splints and runners knee… Without the asphalt road pounding our ligaments to pulp, where would we be?
The road is a necessity when first starting out running. How else can you get support? Vehicles rush past you, almost clipping you when they zoom! past. Go on a treadmill? That just wouldn’t be proper. Besides, you would miss out on the adrenaline rush you get when you race sports cars down the main drag—your neighborhood lane.
Commandment #2
Keep holey thy running clothes.
You all know how a runner is supposed to look like! Tattered shirt from your first marathon, still emitting odors from previous runs. Muddy shorts and socks from the mud that you didn’t expect. Perhaps even a hat promoting your favorite football team—not your favorite marathon. Diversity is important in a runner as well.
Commandment #3
Thou shalt wear bright shoes.
I would go into detail about it—which brands, colors, designs, perhaps even dig a little into the practicality of certain footwear—but I think it all fades to the background when faced with the most important aspect of shoes.
Whatever you buy must be bright—no exceptions.
Commandment #4
Honor thy marathon medals with a day out.
When you do achieve this rare status, this magnificent achievement that few can boast, you will earn a medal. A medal is meant to be worn, not laid around the house or left inside a memory box to collect dust! Wear it to the office, to town, running—everything.
Your friends may think you are crazy, but that is an automatic assumption.
Commandment #5 *
Thou shalt not let thy run be quiet.
We runners have a reputation to uphold here. Don’t let us down with your neophyte ideas and go off on some adventure of your own. Sure, be adventurous, but follow a pattern.
All runners must listen to music while running. Now that doesn’t mean that there is a certain song that must be played. It’s your choice, of course! Only one thing is necessary. Your device, no matter what brand or model, must have the capability to be heard at least a mile away.
If your device is not capable of completing this task, take a hammer to it. Such possessions would shame a respectable runner.
